Snazzy Snippets

11:45 AM Gemma Fitz 11 Comments

I normally don't do stuff like this, but since it's been more than a week since my last post, and I can't seem to get any of my ideas written out fast enough, I thought I'd go ahead and participate in this lovely link-up hosted by Alyssa@The Devil Orders Takeout and Emily@The Loony Literate. (Click the links for more information about the link-up.)
1. A Snippet with Food
This is from my long-term YA sci-fi/thriller WIP, which is switching between the two titles "Splitting Atoms" and "Where Lines Don't Cross" currently. Hopefully drinks count?

"Can you have orange Fanta, Avis?" asked David, standing up and heading for the fridge.
Avis shook her head. "Thanks anyway."
He stared at her in mock shock. "How do you survive?" His voice slid up and dragged out the syllables in a perfect imitation of Audri.
Avis smiled in spite of herself and Audri tossed her head.
"There isn't any Fanta, anyway," she informed them. "Mom was in a hurry at the store and accidentally grabbed the Crush. Come on, it won't kill you, David."
He didn't look convinced. "Are you suggesting that I pollute my intestines with that-- that poison?" he hissed. "Are you somehow not aware that that stuff is brewed in hell itself?"
"Dude, Crush and Fanta taste exactly the same," said Dylan mildly.
"Sacrilege!" cried David.
Audri rolled her eyes. "You're overreacting-- don't be such a drama queen. Just go get yourself a ginger ale or something."
"I don't like ginger ale," grumbled David. "I'll just have water."

 David is very brand loyal. And obsessed with orange Fanta. And altogether adorable.

2. A Snippet I'm Really Proud Of
This is also from "Splitting Atoms". I'm not really proud of any of my writing-- it's all pretty sucky-- but I think this excerpt is funny, and I guess I'm a little proud of it.

Think. Think. She ran her mind over the list of priorities Damian had drilled into her head.

1. Don't die.
2. Don't lead them back to headquarters.
3. Get the file.
4. Don't let them see your face.
5. Don't get hurt.

Getting the file was only third on the list. There'd been failed missions before now; there'd be failed missions in the future. If this one failed, no big deal. It was only third priority.
Of course, "Don't get hurt," was only fifth priority, which Avis wasn't particularly happy about. Obviously Damian's priorities were screwed.

 

3. The First Paragraphs of My WIP
I currently really dislike the first couple paragraphs of "Splitting Atoms", so here's a snippet from the YA/NA science fiction novel I wrote in July, entitled "The World from Scratch".

White walls, white tiles. Over the nurse's shoulder, clad in white scrubs, that was all I could see, save an occasional white door, opening into a white room, to break the monotony.
Many of the rooms had occupants: both men and women, each with his or her own white nurse. As we passed one room, I glimpsed a girl sitting on the edge of the white hospital bed. Her eyes flickered to mine for a moment, nervous and startled, then flickered away and we had passed.
The nurse led me into my own stark white chamber and motioned to the bed. "Make yourself comfortable." She smiled, lipstick the colour of pink bubblegum outlining flawless teeth. "We've got just a few extra minutes to review the procedure."

Obviously I have some editing to do, but there you have it.